I want to share with you a quick Purim-related story:
Yehudit and Tzvi had met through family connections at a Shabbos table. Even though they came from different family backgrounds, they wanted to give it a shot. They dated for a while, and asked me to act as a shadchan to help coach them. They enjoyed each other's company, but their values were not totally aligned and they did not see eye-to-eye on certain things. So they ended it.
At the same time, I had been coaching a boy called Eitan through his dating process with a different girl, called Miri. It was the same type of story - two great people but not quite connecting. So they ended it.
Both couples were still trying to find Mr. and Mrs. Right; they decided to try dating each other again for a second time. I often recommend this when there was a lack of clarity the first time. Sometimes a second chance can be just what both sides need. I have seen in many cases that Take Two works out; but in both of these cases, it didn’t. I was pleased for both couples that they could finally move on, having given it two really good shots.
Then I had a 'bing' moment! I would try to set Tzvi and Miri up! It made perfect sense. They had similar backgrounds, similar personalities and values, and had both been through the same process of a recent shidduch that had ended after two attempts. Maybe they would match up well with each other?
It was a hit from date one. The process went smoothly; they forged tremendous mutual respect and had a great time together. They dated during Israel's first lockdown, doing some unusual things, like meeting for a hike in the forest at neitz. They were about to get engaged, which was amazing - but I felt sad for Yehudit, the girl that Tzvi had dated the first time. I really wanted to help her find her special person.
That is when Hashem sent Dovid my way. He was exactly Yehudit's type - warm, confident and down to earth. He has wonderful middos, with a twinkle in his eye. He was perfect for Yehudit. Her values and his were perfectly aligned. I went to work quickly to set them up.
When Dovid and Yehudit agreed to meet, I had no agenda about where and when. Date 1 ended up being on a Monday night. Divine providence made this the exact night that Tzvi was going to propose to Miri. I davened that the first date would go well, so that when Yehudit heard the news about Tzvi's engagement, she would be hopeful and not depressed. This is exactly what happened - Yehudit was so unbelievably impressed with Dovid that it was not painful to hear that Tzvi was engaged.
A few months later, Yehudit had her moment - the unbelievable simcha of getting engaged to Dovid. It was incredible!
This story can inspire us about the hester panim in the world, a central theme in the Purim story. Sometimes in dating, as a disillusioned parent or dater, we feel that the tests we are hit with are too hard to bear. Things can seem bleak and despairing. But in the blink of an eye, Hashem, with His precise calculations, can turn things around.
May Purim be a time of simcha where HaKodosh Baruchu takes us out of the darkness and into the light.
A freilechen Purim,
Merissa